Managing the ‘Holiday Blues’
School Holidays…. A time to relax, unwind and have fun after a long school term. At least, that’s the hope. For many families though, school holidays can be more stressful than the term itself where ‘Meltdowns’, “I want’s”, “No!” and “I’m bored” feel more the norm. There are many reasons for this, and luckily, ways to navigate through the ups and downs.
Why?
Kids thrive on structure and routine. However, when it comes to school holidays, this goes out the window. Suddenly our wake and bedtimes are different, we have meals at different times and the activities we do are different (and that’s if you are staying at home!). Kids may also experience a range of emotions such as excitement about going somewhere new or meeting up with friends, nervousness about new experiences and disappointment if our expectations are not met (not to mention the inevitable conflict between siblings when we are ‘trapped’ together 24/7). Feeling all of this and containing it is exhausting.
So what can I do to help my child?
Routines: Where possible, try to maintain the same morning and evening routines (i.e., in the morning we get up, have breakfast and put on our clothes).
Set up expectations: If you have upcoming plans, tell your child about them, how long it may take and what to expect. The more information you can provide the better, answering any questions in detail.
Give reminders before it is time to leave: “Just letting you know we have ten/five minutes before it is time to leave, what do you want to finish on?”.
Support through transitions: Leaving a fun activity can be hard for many kids, so support during the transition is helpful. This could look like asking them how they want to walk to the car (how about we skip this time?) or having them plan ahead what they are going to do next.
Connect and validate their feelings: Help your child organise the big feelings they are having by validating (“You’re disappointed that you had to stop doing the fun activity”) rather than pushing them aside (“You’ve had plenty of time here you should be happy”).
Manage Technology: ‘Can I go on the iPad?” “Where is my iPad?” Common phrases heard by many parents. Managing technology use over the school holidays can be challenging. It is important to set up expectations early and try to stick with them. For example, one hour of technology per day. But what can they do for the rest of the time you ask? Get your kids involved in creating a ‘holiday fun jar’ that they can choose activities from. Place tasks in the jar that can be done independently (such as drawing/playing with Lego/reading or puzzles), as well as collaborative tasks (such as making an obstacle course or playing board games), being sure to include some physical activities too (such as jumping on the trampoline or going for a bike or scooter ride).
Finally, remember to have ‘down time’ for the kids, and yourselves to recharge and get ready for the upcoming term ahead.