The Impact of Social Media on Teen Self-Esteem

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Social media is an integral part of teenage life. It provides opportunities for connection, self-expression, and entertainment, but it also comes with challenges—especially when it comes to self-esteem. The teenage years are a crucial period for identity development, and social media can significantly influence how young people see themselves. Understanding the impact of social media on teen self-esteem is essential for fostering a healthy relationship with technology and promoting positive self-worth.

The Comparison Trap

One of the biggest challenges of social media is the ease with which teens compare themselves to others. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat are filled with curated content that often presents an idealised version of reality. Whether it’s influencers with seemingly perfect lives or peers showcasing their best moments, these highlight reels can distort a teen’s perception of normalcy.

Instead of recognising that social media is a filtered version of reality, many teens feel inadequate when comparing themselves to these images. This can lead to negative self-talk, feelings of not being "good enough," and even increased anxiety or depression.

What helps? Encouraging teens to follow diverse, realistic content can balance their social media experience. Discussing the concept of “highlight reels” with them can also help shift their perspective.

Validation Through Likes and Comments

Teen self-esteem is particularly sensitive to external validation. Social media introduces a new layer of approval-seeking, where likes, comments, and shares become measures of popularity and self-worth. If a post receives fewer likes than expected, it can lead to self-doubt or feelings of rejection.

This cycle of posting, waiting for validation, and feeling either uplifted or discouraged based on reactions can make self-worth feel dependent on social media feedback rather than internal confidence.

What helps? Supporting teens to build self-esteem outside of social media is key. Encouraging activities where they find joy and a sense of accomplishment—such as sport, art, music, or volunteering—helps reinforce that their worth isn’t tied to online approval.

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Social media offers a constant stream of updates about what friends and peers are doing. When teens see others hanging out without them, attending events, or having experiences they’re not part of, it can trigger feelings of exclusion and loneliness. Even if they were happy before seeing the post, they may suddenly feel left out.

FOMO can lead to compulsive social media use, as teens may feel pressured to stay constantly connected to avoid missing out. However, excessive screen time can further impact self-esteem by reducing opportunities for real-world interactions that build social confidence.

What helps? Teaching teens to manage their screen time and reminding them that social media only shows part of the story can help ease FOMO. Encouraging real-life social interactions and offline hobbies also helps shift the focus from what they might be missing to what they’re actively experiencing.

Body Image and Beauty Standards

Social media is filled with unrealistic beauty standards, often enhanced by filters, photo editing, and carefully posed images. Exposure to these images can shape a teen’s perception of their own body, leading to dissatisfaction, poor body image, and in some cases, disordered eating behaviours.

Both boys and girls are affected, though the pressures may differ. Young women often feel the need to look thinner or more "flawless," while young men may feel pressured to appear more muscular or physically dominant. The rise of AI-generated filters has made the issue even more complex, blurring the line between real and edited appearances.

What helps? Having open conversations about body image, media literacy, and the dangers of comparison can make a significant difference. Encouraging teens to follow body-positive influencers and accounts that promote healthy, realistic portrayals of people can also help challenge unrealistic beauty norms.

Cyberbullying and Negative Interactions

While social media can foster connection, it can also be a platform for cyberbullying. Negative comments, exclusion from online groups, or even direct harassment can take a significant toll on self-esteem. Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying follows teens into their personal spaces, making it difficult to escape.

Even if a teen isn’t directly experiencing cyberbullying, witnessing negative interactions or toxic online discussions can still impact their emotional well-being.

What helps? Creating a supportive environment where teens feel comfortable discussing their online experiences is crucial. Teaching them about online safety, privacy settings, and how to block or report harmful content empowers them to take control of their digital interactions.

Taking Control of Social Media Use

While social media has its challenges, it doesn’t have to be entirely negative. When used mindfully, it can be a tool for connection, education, and creativity. Helping teens develop a balanced and intentional approach to social media can make a world of difference in how it affects their self-esteem.

Here are some strategies to encourage a healthy relationship with social media:

- Set Boundaries: Encourage tech-free times, such as during meals or before bed, to reduce constant screen exposure.

- Follow Positive Accounts: Help teens curate their feeds by following pages that inspire, educate, and promote self-acceptance.

- Encourage Real-World Activities: The more engaged teens are in hobbies, friendships, and meaningful activities, the less dependent they become on social media for validation.

- Model Healthy Social Media Use: Teens learn by observing. If parents and caregivers demonstrate balanced, mindful social media habits, teens are more likely to adopt them.

- Talk Openly About Social Media: Keeping conversations open and non-judgmental allows teens to express their thoughts and concerns, making it easier to guide them toward healthy habits.

By equipping teens with the knowledge and tools to navigate social media wisely, we can help them develop self-esteem that isn’t dictated by likes, comparisons, or unrealistic standards. Encouraging self-worth that comes from within—not from a screen—is one of the most valuable gifts we can offer young people in today’s digital world.

Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce

Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist - With You Allied Health Directors