How to Help Your Child Cope with Bullying

Image by Zhivko Minkov @lazywhiskey on Unsplash

Bullying is a painful and challenging experience for any child. Whether it happens at school, online, or in social settings, the effects can be long-lasting. Bullying can impact a child’s self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being. While parents and caregivers cannot always prevent bullying, they can play a crucial role in helping children cope, recover, and build resilience.

Recognising the Signs of Bullying

Children don’t always tell adults when they are being bullied. Some might fear making the situation worse, while others may feel ashamed or believe it’s their fault. Understanding the signs can help parents intervene early. These might include:

- Sudden reluctance to go to school or social events

- Unexplained injuries, torn clothing, or missing belongings

- Changes in mood, such as anxiety, sadness, or irritability

- Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares

- Declining academic performance

- Avoidance of social media or an increase in distress after using it

- Complaints of headaches, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms without a clear cause

Encouraging Open Communication

A strong and trusting relationship between a child and their parent or caregiver is key to supporting them through bullying. If you suspect something is wrong, create opportunities for conversation without pressuring them to talk.

• Ask open-ended questions: Instead of asking, “Are you being bullied?” try “How has school been lately?” or “Who do you usually spend time with at lunch?”

• Listen without judgment: Children may fear disappointing their parents or making things worse. Reassure them that they are not alone and that bullying is never their fault.

• Validate their feelings: Let them know it’s okay to feel upset, angry, or scared. A simple “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you” can go a long way.

Teaching Coping Strategies

While stopping bullying entirely may not be within a child’s control, there are ways to help them respond confidently and protect their self-esteem.

• Encourage assertiveness: Help your child practise calm but firm responses, such as “I don’t like that. Stop it.” This can be difficult for some children, so role-playing can be useful.

• Help them develop a support network: Encourage friendships with kind and supportive peers. Having just one good friend can make a significant difference in a child’s ability to cope with bullying.

• Teach them to walk away and seek help: Sometimes, disengaging is the best response. Reinforce the importance of telling a trusted adult if bullying persists.

• Discuss the power of body language: Confident posture, eye contact, and a strong voice can deter bullies, who often target those they perceive as vulnerable.

Addressing Cyberbullying

Online bullying has become increasingly common, and its impact can be just as harmful as face-to-face bullying. To help protect your child:

• Set digital boundaries: Encourage healthy screen habits, such as limiting social media use and taking breaks from online platforms.

• Teach them not to engage: Responding to online bullies can escalate the situation. Encourage children to block and report instead of replying.

• Monitor online activity: Without invading their privacy, have open discussions about the importance of online safety and check in regularly.

• Save evidence: If cyberbullying occurs, screenshots and message logs can be useful for reporting the behaviour to schools or online platforms.

Working with Schools and Other Adults

If your child is being bullied at school, working collaboratively with teachers and school staff is essential.

• Document the incidents: Keep a record of what is happening, including dates, times, and any relevant screenshots or photos.

• Schedule a meeting with the school: Approach the conversation with a focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame.

• Encourage school-based strategies: Many schools have anti-bullying programs, peer support groups, or counselling services that can provide further assistance.

Building Resilience and Confidence

While no child should have to endure bullying, helping them build resilience can strengthen their ability to handle challenges and setbacks.

• Encourage activities that boost self-esteem: Sports, creative hobbies, and community involvement can help children develop confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

• Celebrate their strengths: Acknowledge their efforts and achievements, no matter how small.

• Model positive coping skills: Children learn from observing adults. Demonstrating healthy ways to handle stress and conflict sets a strong example.

Being bullied can be deeply distressing, but with the right support, children can recover and grow stronger. By fostering open communication, teaching effective coping strategies, and working with schools, parents and caregivers can help their children feel safe, valued, and empowered to navigate difficult situations.

Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce

Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist - With You Allied Health Directors