Lifelong Habits Kids Learn from Their Parents
Image by Jovis Aloor@jovisjoseph on Unsplash
Children absorb a wealth of behaviours from their parents, forming a foundation for habits they carry into adulthood. From how parents manage stress to how they prioritise self-care, every action becomes a subtle yet powerful lesson. These behaviours profoundly shape children’s attitudes, relationships, and overall well-being.
The Power of Modelling
Children learn more from what they see than what they are told. Observing how their parents handle everyday situations can create blueprints for their future actions and decisions.
For example, a parent demonstrating gratitude by saying "thank you" for small acts of kindness teaches children to value and express appreciation. Similarly, maintaining a sense of humour in tough situations shows them how to approach life’s challenges with resilience and perspective.
Building Positive Lifelong Habits
1. Time Management:
Parents who structure their time effectively demonstrate the importance of planning and prioritisation. This helps children learn to organise schoolwork, extracurriculars, and leisure time.
Practical Tip: Use tools like shared family calendars and explain how you balance commitments. For example, “I’m finishing this task before we watch a movie so I don’t feel rushed later.”
2. Generosity and Gratitude:
Acts of kindness and regular expressions of gratitude cultivate a giving and appreciative mindset in children. These behaviours encourage them to value relationships and contribute positively to their community.
Practical Tip: Involve children in acts of generosity, such as donating clothes or volunteering together. Regularly practise gratitude by sharing things you’re thankful for as a family.
3. Emotional Regulation:
Showing children how to manage emotions through techniques like deep breathing or talking about feelings builds resilience and self-awareness.
Practical Tip: Narrate your own process, such as, “I’m feeling upset, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we talk about this.”
4. Healthy Boundaries and Self-Care:
By setting boundaries and prioritising self-care, parents teach children the importance of maintaining balance and respecting their own needs.
Practical Tip*: Explain your boundaries, such as, “I need 10 minutes to myself to recharge,” and encourage children to communicate their own needs.
5. Sense of Humour:
A light-hearted approach to setbacks shows children how to navigate challenges without becoming overwhelmed. It fosters resilience and joy.
Practical Tip: Share funny stories about your day or make a game out of small annoyances, such as turning a cleaning task into a race.
6. Communication Skills:
Parents who actively listen and express themselves clearly teach children how to build strong relationships and resolve conflicts effectively.
Practical Tip: Model phrases like, “I feel [emotion] when [situation], and I’d like [solution],” to teach healthy communication.
7. Health and Wellness:
Prioritising balanced meals, regular exercise, and mental health demonstrates to children the value of taking care of their bodies and minds.
Practical Tip: Involve children in planning and preparing healthy meals, and set aside time for family walks or physical activities.
8. Approach to Challenges:
Demonstrating perseverance in the face of difficulty encourages children to develop a growth mindset and view challenges as opportunities to learn.
Practical Tip: Praise effort over outcomes, saying, “You worked so hard on that, and I’m proud of your determination.”
Addressing Negative Patterns
Parents are not perfect, and unhelpful behaviours can also be passed down. Acknowledging these patterns and working to change them provides a powerful lesson. For instance, a parent learning better time management or addressing negative self-talk teaches children the value of growth and self-improvement.
Intentional Parenting
Children don’t need perfect parents, just intentional ones. By reflecting on the behaviours you model and their alignment with your values, you can guide your child toward a positive future. Even small, everyday actions, like laughing at a mistake or taking a break when feeling overwhelmed, can leave a lasting impact.
Encouraging Individuality
While children learn from their parents, they are also unique individuals. Encouraging their passions and strengths, while providing a foundation of positive behaviours, allows them to grow into confident and capable adults.
Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce
Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist - With You Allied Health Directors