The Importance of a Child Knowing About Their Diagnosis
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Navigating the complexities of a diagnosis—whether it be a learning difficulty, developmental condition, or mental health challenge—can be an emotional journey for both parents and children. One of the most debated aspects of this process is whether, how, and when to share the diagnosis with the child themselves. While every family’s situation is unique, there is growing consensus among professionals that providing children with age-appropriate information about their diagnosis can empower them and support their overall development.
Promoting Self-Awareness and Understanding
Children are naturally curious, and they often recognise when something about their experiences or abilities feels different from their peers. Sadly, children often feel that there is something broken or wrong with them, which just isn’t the case. By openly discussing their diagnosis, parents provide an explanation that validates their child's feelings and experiences. For example, an ADHD child might feel frustrated about their difficulty concentrating or staying organised. Explaining their diagnosis can help them understand that these challenges aren’t due to a lack of effort but rather how their brain functions- and that there are some wonderful outcomes due to this as well.
This understanding fosters self-awareness, enabling children to identify their strengths and challenges. Instead of viewing themselves as “different” in a negative way, they can develop a more compassionate and balanced self-image.
Building Confidence Through Empowerment
Knowing about their diagnosis can help children take ownership of their experiences and participate actively in managing their needs. For instance, a child with dyslexia might feel empowered to ask for extra time on assignments or choose books with accessible formats. This sense of control builds confidence and resilience, as children learn to advocate for themselves and seek the resources they need to succeed.
Reducing Stigma and Misunderstanding
When children are not informed about their diagnosis, they may draw inaccurate conclusions about themselves. Without context, a child might interpret struggles in school or social settings as personal failures. Overtime, this creates a self-narrative, one that can be quite negative. When this narrative is reinforced by what we call “top down processing”, where evidence of the negative aspects are actively looked for, it can lead to mental health concerns. Sharing a diagnosis helps to dismantle these misconceptions, replacing shame or confusion with understanding.
Moreover, discussing diagnoses openly can reduce societal stigma. When children understand their condition, they’re more likely to speak about it with friends or teachers, fostering acceptance and awareness in their community.
Supporting Mental Health
Children who are unaware of their diagnosis may internalise feelings of frustration or inadequacy, which can negatively impact their mental health. Providing clarity helps alleviate these emotions and opens the door for meaningful conversations about feelings, coping strategies, and seeking help when needed.
For example, an autistic child who understands their diagnosis can recognise why certain situations might feel overwhelming and work with parents or therapists to develop coping mechanisms.
Practical Tips for Parents and Teachers
1. Use Age-Appropriate Language: Tailor the explanation to your child’s developmental level. For younger children, simple and concrete terms work best, while older children might benefit from a more detailed discussion.
2. Focus on Strengths and Challenges: Highlight that everyone has unique strengths and areas where they need support. Relate this to their diagnosis in a way that normalises their experiences.
3. Involve Professionals: Psychologists, speech therapists, or other specialists can provide guidance on how to approach the conversation and answer questions.
4. Normalise the Diagnosis: Share stories about successful people with similar diagnoses or relate it to a family member’s experience to foster connection and reduce feelings of isolation.
5. Encourage Questions: Allow the child to express their thoughts and feelings. Answer honestly and let them know it’s okay to revisit the topic as they grow and understand more.
6. Integrate Coping Tools: Alongside sharing the diagnosis, introduce strategies or tools that can help. For instance, mindfulness techniques, visual schedules, or apps designed to support specific challenges can provide practical reassurance.
7. Partner with Educators: Informing teachers about the diagnosis ensures they can provide appropriate support and reinforce consistent messaging at school.
8. Provide Reassurance: Emphasise that a diagnosis doesn’t define them and that your love and support remain constant.
Long-Term Benefits
Empowering children with knowledge about their diagnosis not only supports their current well-being but also prepares them for the future. As they grow, this understanding becomes the foundation for self-advocacy in higher education, workplaces, and relationships.
For instance, a teenager with anxiety who has been open about their experiences from a young age is more likely to feel comfortable seeking accommodations or discussing their needs in a professional setting.
The decision to share a diagnosis with a child can feel daunting, but it is a crucial step in fostering self-acceptance, resilience, and growth. By approaching the conversation with empathy and care, parents and teachers can empower children to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and clarity.
Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce
Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist - With You Allied Health Directors