Behaviour is a Window
Image by Hannah Tims on Unsplash
Children’s behaviour can often be the window into their emotions, thoughts, and feelings. It is essential for parents and caregivers to understand the importance of responding to a child’s behaviour in a way that acknowledges the emotion behind it.
Children are not able to express their emotions in the same way as adults, so their behaviour can be a way for them to communicate needs, worries, and concerns. The way a child behaves can give caregivers insight into their emotional world. For example, a child may become angry and frustrated when they are feeling overwhelmed or misunderstood. A child may also become withdrawn and quiet when they are feeling anxious or scared.
When a child behaves in a way that is challenging, it is important to take a step back and look at the behaviour as the child's communication of their needs. It can be helpful to validate the emotion and let the child know that it is okay to feel that way. It can also be helpful to explore with the child what they are feeling. This can help them to gain better insight into their emotions and can help them to build their emotional-regulation skills.
It is also important to respond to challenging behaviour in a way that is supportive and understanding. This can help the child to feel safe and secure in their environment and can help them to develop healthy means of expressing their emotions. Punishing a child or making them feel ashamed of their behaviour is not a helpful response and can cause the child to become more disconnected from their emotions.
How to be curious and non-judgement with child’s emotions:
Listen and Reflect - Listening to a child's thoughts and feelings in a non-judgemental way is essential for helping them to explore their emotions. For example, you can say, "It sounds like you're feeling really frustrated. Can you tell me more about that?"
Ask Open-ended Questions - Asking open-ended questions can help to draw out more information from a child about how they are feeling. For example, you can say, "What was going through your mind when you were feeling so angry?"
Model Emotional Regulation - Modelling emotional regulation is an important way to help a child learn how to manage their feelings. For example, you can say, "I can see that you are feeling really upset. It's okay to feel that way. Let's take a few deep breaths together and see if that helps."
Acknowledge and Validate - Acknowledging and validating a child's emotions is important for helping them to feel understood. For example, you can say, "It sounds like you're feeling really overwhelmed. That sounds tough. I'm here for you."
Connect Emotions to Behaviour - Connecting a child's emotions to their behaviour can help them to gain better insight into how their emotions affect their behaviour. For example, you can say, "When you're feeling angry, it can be hard to make good decisions. That's why it's important to take some time to calm down and think things through."
In summary, children’s behaviour can be a window into their emotions, thoughts, and feelings. It is essential for parents and caregivers to focus on the emotion behind the behaviour and to respond in a way that is supportive and understanding. This can help the child to feel safe and secure in their environment and can help them to develop positive behaviour.